Take your time

The comment was made after I got up from the table I was sitting at and she struggled to stand as quickly. She went on to say that as you get older things get harder to do, but that she and her husband,  both still had sound minds and a love for one another.

It touched my heart so deeply to hear her show such sincere appreciation and love for her husband.

In my line of work, too often I write about and see the other side of relationships. The darker side.

Over the past month I have had two opportunities to speak in different classes at Indiana Wesleyan University about domestic violence and how it affects our community and our society.

I have many times over the years shared about my own family and my siblings’ struggles with domestic violence.

I share their story to illustrate that domestic violence knows no boundaries and how it is not always someone you would think, who falls victim to this horrific crime.

As I talked about my sister who lived through numerous verbally, emotionally and physically abusive relationships and my brother who was victimized by a very manipulate spouse (now an ex), a student asked me why I believed I did not fall victim as well. I had stated that growing up none of us had witnessed domestic violence and that my parents were to this day happily married.

Frankly, by the grace of God I was sparred.

By the time I met my husband, I had dated enough men to realize what I wanted in a relationship and what I didn’t. I had gotten to a point where I was OK with not being in a relationship, and I had decided that if I were to ever marry, it would be to someone who accepted me for me.

I can honestly say almost 22 years of marriage later, that as my 85 year old friend said, I love my husband now as much as on my 30th birthday when he asked me to marry him.

So, for anyone who is reading this, who is not in a committed relationship, and is longing for that marriage proposal or person to complete them – please take your time, don’t rush into a relationship that may or may not be right for you.

And, if you are in a committed relationship, please take time right now to let that person know just how valued and special they are to you.

I truly believe that if we work to build each other up, and be those positive role models for those around us, we can eliminate domestic violence from our vocabulary, our relationships and our community. But as I will continue to say, it must start with each one of us.

And as always, if you have questions about domestic violence or what a healthy relationship consists of please call Hands of Hope’s 24-hour hotline at 765-664-0701.