I’m Not Ready!

What this means is that he is fully aware that he is “losing it.”  I can only imagine what it is like for him to drift away.  The once competent, outgoing, sometimes critical, and always fun loving man I grew up with is slowing slipping away.  I’m a Daddy’s Girl–this is the man I was driven to please my entire life.  I worked hard to hear the words, “I’m proud of you.”  I named my son, William, after him as a tribute to the kind, gentle, smart, and generous man who raised me.  Selfishly, I’m not ready to lose my father while he’s still alive.  And I’m definitely not ready for him to lose me—all of our silly memories; the joyful look he gets in his eye when I enter the room; the pleasure he gets from our nearly daily conversations over the phone.

As I watch from a distance—my parents and I live nearly 1000 miles away from one another—I see my mother forced incrementally into the role of caregiver for the man who is the love of her life and who at one time was the leader of our family.  He’s not the same.  I watch Mom waffle between compassion and frustration as Dad tells her the same thing or asks her the same question for the fifth or seventh time.  She’s tired.  She’s worried.  She’s scared.  She’s also fiercely strong and capable.

At some point, the caregiving will become too much and decisions will need to be made about what services are needed to best care for BOTH of my parents.  Mom told me this weekend that she and Dad “have agreed to take care of each other as long as they are physically and emotionally capable to do so.” There is comfort in her recognition that at some point, it may be too emotionally challenging to provide the care needed.

At Radiant Health, we recognize the serious challenges faced by caregivers.  Caregiver Fatigue can lead to depression and, in extreme cases, to physical abuse of the person needing care.  If you are a caregiver, like my mom, don’t be afraid to recognize the need for emotional support.  Call Radiant Health today at 765-662-9971 for an appointment.