I recently had a conversation with someone who has smoked for more than 30 years and has decided to quit.
Changing Norms
Her reasoning while in part is financial; it was her comment about societal change that I am choosing to focus on.
She shared how when she began smoking it was acceptable. It was the norm. She was young, she said, and didn’t know the harm it was inflicting about her children. She smoked in her car. She smoked in her house.
Even when her young son took her cigarettes, broke them and threw them in the trash she wasn’t deterred, she just loaded up her children in the car and went and bought more cigarettes.
But today she said it has become so socially unacceptable to smoke and so inconvenient, she is trying desperately to change a norm that has been part of her life all of her adulthood.
I applaud her for her efforts and I use her as an example of what we can do as a society, if we choose to.
Domestic violence and sexual violence is prevalent in our culture. It is something I continue to read almost daily in our local newspaper. And I am sure I will continue to read about, until we as a community make it so uncomfortable and unthinkable to strike out at our loved ones – verbally and physically when we get upset.
Until we teach our children how to treat each other. Until we model respect in our relationships, nothing is going to change.
There are small ripples taking hold in our community that I am very excited about.
Marion General Hospital has partnered with Hands of Hope; a division of Radiant Health to incorporate skin to skin bonding with dads right after a baby is born. This simple technique of taking a naked baby and putting them on dad’s bare chest is one small example of inclusion and bonding that both dad and mom can do to nurture their newborn.
Ole Miss Youth Sports have adopted a code of conduct for their parents, coaches and youth that is being incorporated into all their youth programs, instilling expectations on attitudes both on the court and field and off.
Mississinewa Community Schools has adopted programming kindergarten through 12th grade around respect.
And, Radiant Health is working to more intentionally integrate a focus of SSNRE’ (Safe, Stable Nurturing Relationships and Environments) in all the work that is done.
It is through these initiatives and many others that fall outside of the work Hands of Hope is driving that can and will change the landscape in Grant County. But it will not be long lasting and norms changing without you. So if what I have written has motivated you to take action – great. It is as simple as a smile or a kind word and as comprehensive as changing policy to ensure that violence is not tolerated in your circle of influence.
