Quieting That Lying Voice

There’s been ANOTHER explosion of media coverage about child sexual abuse. Now it’s coming out of the sports world…focusing on “sports heroes” and who knew what and when. As usual, politicians take the opportunity to make headlines, denouncing the sexual victimization of children and promising to eliminate this terrible affliction.

Here’s the real news. We are NEVER going to eliminate this monstrous act that is put upon children by adults.

Sadly, we are powerless to ultimately protect our children from individuals who proclaim to love, cherish and protect our young people. That’s because 90 percent of sexual abusers are directly connected in some capacity to VICTIMS OF CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE.

But that’s not why I asked for a few minutes of your time. I want to talk to you — the “silent majority” of children, teens and adults who were betrayed and violated by someone you trusted, respected and loved.

I imagine when you see the tragic headlines it kicks off a voice in your head, “Why didn’t I stop him? I should have told someone. What did I do to make him do this to me? My life is ruined if anyone finds out.”

You have heard it all before. The endless cycling of NEEDLESS blame that runs through your mind. Its stuff you can’t escape. Worse yet, it comes with pictures of every time he touched you. You can’t seem to break free.

It sucks that you got ambushed by someone that you believed in and there’s no quick fix. If only you were Samantha from Bewitched or Harry Potter. Poof! He’s now a mouse in an aquarium tank with some big snake. Zap! Suddenly, he’s wearing a horses’ tail, a peaked nose and duck’s feet for hands. Now, that would be fair! And what would he say when everyone asked him, “Wow…what happened to you?!!!!”

Yeah, you know this is all wishful thinking stuff.

Now, here’s the stuff I want you to really pay close attention to …. It is time for you to separate the TRUTHS from the LIES.

You have NOT been doing that so well. Nope. Let’s get real honest. It is IMPOSSIBLE to know the difference between truths and lies when you have been listening to that LYING VOICE IN YOUR HEAD.
Yeah, you know what I am talking about.

You have been worshipping that LYING VOICE for years – ever since your abuse started. That LYING VOICE has ruled you and convinced you that you are Dirty, Damaged and Different. The LYING VOICE shouts SHOULDS, MUSTS and NEVERS at you. It mind reads and fortune tells. It leaves you living within a dark and lonely place. And it tells you that EMOTIONAL SAFETY can ONLY be achieved thru mistrust. And that ultimately, inner peace only comes thru SELF CONDEMNATION. All lies. All BIG, FAT LIES.

Sexual abusers lie to themselves and convince themselves that what they are thinking, desiring, planning and then executing is OK. Then, they LIE to their victims that this SELF-CENTERED, TUNNELED VISIONED, HEDONISTIC, ALL ABOUT ME act for sexual gratification is MUTUAL, CONSENUAL AND DESIRED by a child.

Well, this is such a CROCK OF LIES. But as a kid, you believed it. There goes that LYING VOICE again.

I want you to do ONE thing for me. Do it when you are all by yourself. Find a corner in your house. Go over to it. Plant your feet in that corner. Put your nose in that corner as well. Now, here goes, the simple request: either take ONE step forward or take ONE step backward.

Which did you choose? Yeah, dumb request, right? Now, hear this clearly: This is what child sexual abuse is ALL ABOUT. Someone you trusted, loved, respected and needed maneuvered you into a corner and then ambushed you. He presented you with a NO WIN SITUATION.

TRUTH? It was NOT YOUR FAULT. He took total advantage of your respect and love for him. You were POWERLESS to stop or detour him from his desires and plans. He TARGETED you because he KNEW you would go into that corner for him…so he could ambush you.

TRUTH…now it’s all up to you. Today, it’s totally in your POWER to decide if you are going to continue to HONOR and WORSHIP that LYING VOICE in your head.

TRUTH…you could not stop the abuse. BUT you can STOP the SELF CONDEMNATION. Shame and guilt are not your burden. It’s his cowardice and self-centered decisions to avoid stepping up to the plate and taking ownership for hurting you. It’s NOT yours to carry. He could and did use your body.

TRUTH…your mind, your thoughts and feelings are yours and yours alone to control. You choose whether you continue to be a VICTIM. You choose to become a THRIVER. Master that LYING VOICE. Then, you will be emotionally FREE to be and become what you want to be.