What is LOVE? What makes you feel safe in a relationship?

Those two questions were posed recently to some Grant County high school students as Hands of Hope worked to formulate a Teen Dating Violence Awareness campaign.

Nationally, February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month.  

“Things that make me feel loved in a relationship are honesty, sharing goals, being proud of something I do or accomplish, etc.”, one teen wrote in an anonymous survey monkey poll. Trust was among the most frequent responses to the question. Others added established boundaries, actions of their partner, and honesty.

My question to each of you is what are we as adults doing to ensure that teens are feeling safe and loved as they begin romantic relationships? Are we ensuring that our children know the difference between healthy, unhealthy, and abusive relationships? Do we know the difference?

Some signs of a healthy relationship include communication, respect, honesty, equality, enjoying personal time away from each other, and making mutual choices.

Some signs of an unhealthy relationship include not communicating, disrespect, not trusting, dishonesty, controlling behavior, only spending time together, and being pressured into activities.

Some signs of an abusive relationship include communicating in a hurtful or threatening way, mistreating, accusing the other person of cheating when it is untrue, denying their actions are abusive, controlling, and isolating their partner from others.

Unfortunately, just as domestic violence is too commonplace in adult relationships, teens are not immune. One in three Indiana teenagers has experienced emotional abuse in their dating relationships, according to the 2021 Indiana Youth Risk Behavior Survey. That same survey found that 1 in 10 has experienced sexual dating violence and physical dating violence.

Each year in the U.S. nearly 1.5 million high school students fall victim to abuse from a partner, according to the One Love Foundation. Young women between the ages of 16 and 24 experience abuse at a rate almost 3x the national average and almost half of dating college women experience abusive behavior. Of those between the ages of 11 and 15 who have been in a relationship, 62% know a friend who has been verbally abused by a partner. More than 1 in 4 teenage girls in a relationship are repeatedly verbally abused. 

It can be difficult for a teen to recognize that their partner is abusive and as difficult when they do recognize the signs to know where to turn for help. That is why we need to be sure we are opening the lines of communication for teens to feel comfortable sharing what is happening in their lives. It is so important that we build trusting relationships with our children and with others who can help build them up in a positive manner.

As we focus on Teen Dating Violence in February, let’s find ways to model healthy relationships. And remember, if you or anyone has questions about how to show love and trust in a relationship Hands of Hope is available to help through our 24-hour helpline at 765-664-0701, website, Facebook or Instagram, because at Hands of Hope we focus on empowering choice and cultivating hope.