We see many examples of how this plays out. It can be persistent phone calls, showing up in places unannounced, behavior that is depicted as romantic when it is more threatening, and many other examples …
Unmasking Stalking: Empowering Change, Raising Awareness
My eyes were recently opened to just how often stalking is romanticized and acceptable in movies after watching a documentary about it.
“Stalking for Love” sheds a light on stalking that I can’t say I realized until watching it. I would encourage all to take time to watch the video at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZ1MPc5HG_I?
In the video are examples of romanticized stalking in clips from various movies including The Notebook, Dead Poet’s Society, Wedding Crashers, and Twilight. We see many examples of how this plays out. It can be persistent phone calls, showing up in places unannounced, behavior that is depicted as romantic when it is more threatening, and many other examples of the theme, the author refers to once again, “Stalking for Love”.
In watching the examples through the lens of an advocate for non-violence, it is easy for me to see just how pervasive and incredibly wrong these behaviors are. Yet, if I was sitting in a movie theater watching the same movies, I could see myself getting caught up in the romance of the actions by the stalker.
Even as I say the word stalker, I cringe, knowing how wrong romanticizing those actions are. I realize these behaviors are extremely selfish and are behaviors to discourage.
In real life, these stalking actions can have very serious consequences that could lead to physical abuse, sexual assault, or even death – nothing to take lightly and certainly nothing to romanticize. About half of the stalkers are current or former intimate partners, which again raises concerns that this is not about something sweet or caring, but rather criminal.
As the video also illustrates, in many movies, the man’s actions are not perceived as overbearing or abusive, but instead only intended to show love or devotion. Yet, in the rare instances a woman is portrayed as a stalker in a movie, she is viewed as crazy, manic, or unbalanced, as is clearly depicted in the series “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend.
There is most certainly a need for change – a culture shift in our thinking, calling on movie makers to focus on healthy relationships, consent, and showing respect for boundaries. As we focus on stalking and all aspects of this often-misunderstood crime, as January is stalking awareness month, if you have questions or are being stalked, please reach out to Hands of Hope at (765) 664-0701, where we focus on empowering choice and cultivating hope.
