When my practice husband and I divorced after 10+ years of marriage and two awesome kids, I had a little come apart.
Okay, let’s face it…I was a hot mess for a period of time. The divorce was final, kids were adjusting to the new normal as everyone called it, and it was time for me to get a check-up from the neck-up. I was in the capable hands of a great shrink—yes, I always called him my shrink. And he challenged me constantly.
You see, something happened…I lost ME! ME was buried under marriage, divorce, motherhood, volunteer, daughter, friend, employee, etc. I’d lost my identity without ever reporting it stolen to the authorities. I’d lost it by people pleasing my way through life instead of listening to that calm still voice in each of us that provides the compass we need to stay true to ourselves. I felt like the curtain came down too soon on my show and that I was struggling to work my way out of the voluminous velvet fabric—searching for the split in the curtains.
The most powerful question my shrink asked led me back to ME. “Are you living in congruence with who you are?” Think of congruence as harmony or alignment. When you are quiet and with yourself, is the decision you are about to make truly what you want for you, or is there another intention or motivation? When you are honest with yourself you will learn things you wish you didn’t know. For example, I used to frequently pick up the tab for lunches out with friends—I discovered I did this because deep down I didn’t think I was worthy of being liked and I wanted my friends to like me. Seems silly now, but at the time, it was a huge discovery for me.
Since that time I have regularly journaled about whether or not I’m in congruence. I reflect upon the question often and make adjustments when I learn something is out of sync. The most challenging and satisfying journey of my life has been the one back to myself.
Finding the True YOU is crucial to living a fulfilling life. If you are struggling with finding the True YOU, let Radiant Health help. Make an appointment with one of our highly trained counselors today at 765-662-9971.