Sorry, Not Sorry: Lessons Learned from my Autistic Brother

Some say, Oh, I am so sorry… while others proclaim, that must be so hard. While I appreciate the sympathy, there is no reason to apologize. Although autism certainly brings its difficulties, there is nothing really wrong with being autistic. An autistic person is still just that, a person – a person with his or her own strengths and weaknesses just like the rest of us.

My brother is no different. He has some awesome strengths and abilities, such as knowing every type of clock and being effortlessly athletic. He has a way better sense of direction than me, and can never cease to make me smile. Some of my fondest memories are of us playing make-believe games
when we were little. I could always coerce him into playing some elaborate, drama-filled game. Him and I were a dynamic duo that could solve any problem with our imagination – me clothed in my sequined tutu and him in a giant grin.

I didn’t realize how special it was to grow up with my brother until I got older. His character qualities and unique perspective have taught me many powerful lessons. His life has impacted mine in a way that no one else could. It is hard to do justice to him in written form, but here are some of his qualities I greatly appreciate:

1. His genuine heart – He is always honest and real with me. Whatever mood he is in, you will know it. He doesn’t waste time by playing games and making you guess. For instance, you know he’s excited when he skips on dessert to start “saving room” for the 4^th of July cookout – weeks in advance.
2. His contentment –He rarely asks for anything unless he really needs it or really wants it (such as the latest Disney World fireworks CD). He doesn’t need anything over the top and fancy, which is evidenced by the peanut butter and jelly sandwich (his favorite) he eats pretty much daily.
3. His dreams – He dreams big and never lets go of those dreams. He is dedicated, resourceful, and isn’t afraid to go out of his comfort zone to achieve what he wants.
4. His patience – I can imagine it would be pretty hard, not being able to effectively explain what you are thinking most of the time. My brother is rarely irritated or upset. He patiently waits until you are on the same page as him and then smiles in an “I told you so” sort of way.
5. His support – I have never once felt judged by my brother. Whatever I do has his full support and excitement. If I want to go on a spur of the moment trip to Dairy Queen in January? Sure, he’ll come. If I start singing Les Miserable music at the top of my lungs? He’ll just laugh and shake his head.

I reflect on all of these wonderful qualities and am overwhelmed with how blessed I am to have my brother. Not many siblings would ask to Skype you just so he could see your face. Or send a text every Daylight Savings day to remind you to change your clocks. So you don’t have to be sorry that my brother is autistic, really. I’m sure not. My brother is 100% genuine and content. He dreams big and is always patient and always supportive. He is my other half – the peanut butter to my jelly.