I get a big laugh when someone says to me, “you always have it together” or “you seem like everything’s good all the time” or, my personal favorite “you’re so Zen.”
I Believe
I’m laughing now just thinking about it. My colleagues down the hall probably think I’m losing it. In some way, each of these statements are true about me. I’m pretty unflappable most of the time. Over my lifetime I’ve certainly had my share of moments that, at the time, brought me to my knees. Moments so painful that I considered living to be optional. The great thing about moments that take you to your breaking point are the powerful learnings that emerge. For me, I was able to adopt a belief that changed everything and has been my mantra in dark times—it’s my personal lighthouse.
I believe, no matter what happens, I can handle it.
Yep, that’s it. Adopting this one simple belief and making it the core of who I am gives me great strength and makes me feel empowered and hopeful. It shifts my focus away from whatever challenge I am facing and helps me look toward solutions because I know I can handle it.
No matter who you are, what level of privilege you enjoy or your family background, you will face deeply difficult things in your life—love and loss, illness or injury, marital challenges, family pressure, financial pressure, childhood abuse and neglect, etc. While there’s no way to avoid pain and suffering, there are powerful things each of us can do to rise from these times and it all starts with our thoughts and how we respond to the challenges. Each of us has a choice in all things. We can choose how we respond. We can choose to respond in a way that propels us forward toward the life we dream of instead of holding us hostage in the problem.
If you find yourself near your breaking point, please consider doing these three things—I promise they work.
- Take a deep breath and go for a brisk walk—at least 30 minutes. If walking is difficult, find another physical activity that works for you.
- Get a good night’s sleep—7 to 8 hours.
- Look at yourself in the mirror and say, “No matter what happens, I can handle it.”
This simple ritual, no matter how silly it may seem, sets you up for finding solutions and moving more quickly through your difficulty. Ideas will simply emerge.
Life is full of richness and joy! And you can access this richness and joy by changing the way you think about the dark times. I believe, no matter what happens, YOU can handle it.
