Recently our communities were shocked by the headlines regarding a missing 10 year old girl. I remember learning the search was on and immediately thinking to myself, “I hope this ends well.” Deep down, I …
I’ve learned so many things serving as the leader of Family Service Society. One of those things is that there is no end to the ways in which humans can torture and be cruel to one another. The more important thing I have learned is the ways in which it is easy for me to judge individuals on their worst action. This is a trait I am not proud of and where FSSI has taught me a new way of looking at things. While my brain may initially submit to the amygdala hi-jack, the immediate and more important thought that follows is one of compassion—what happened to this person that contributed to them behaving in this way. I had this same reaction when I learned of the circumstances surrounding Skylea’s death.
You see, whether we like it or not, we are what we experience. For those who have experienced incredible instability and extremes in behaviors from those around us, our foundational framework for a healthy life is eroded. It’s as if our life house was built on an eroding cliff and the rains keep coming. This is true for all of us whether we grew up in poverty or privilege.
As a community we have a responsibility to protect those who cannot protect themselves and for those who do commit the worst of actions, like killing a young girl, we have to both bring a spirit of justice and compassion. Justice must be served and compassion must be found for the individual who committed the offense so that they may get the help they need to change their future experience.
None of us are only our worst action and yet that is often how we are judged. Instead, we must find a way to look upon one another as the rounded humanity of people—the good and the bad. And for ourselves, how do we collect and adopt all the goodness of others and avoid the vices.